Tips For Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Most people who are in a relationship experience conflict from time to time. Married people can get into disagreements because of their different backgrounds, personalities and expectations. It is common for couples to argue, disagree or bicker over certain issues regularly. Some conflicts have the potential to ruin a relationship. Therefore, you need to know how to solve such conflicts. By learning about the strategies for couples conflict solution, you will be able to preserve and protect your relationship.

At times, conflict begins with the possibility of making major changes. Your spouse can respond in a hostile manner after you have stated your case. This can include yelling, talking over you or tuning out completely. During the initial phases of resolving conflicts, the process used is more important than the words used. You can disagree in a healthy way by developing good listening skills.

It is important to let your partner share his or her concerns, frustrations or worries. Provide your spouse with the opportunity to share his or her feelings in a safe manner, without the fear of being ridiculed with cutting remarks. This way, your spouse will be more open and willing to hear what you have to say.

In order to resolve conflicts, you should also speak about the way you feel without shifting blame to your partner. The statements that directly assault the character of your partner can be particularly damaging to your relationship. For instance, if you are frustrated with the jealousy of your partner, do not say that he or she is completely irrational. Instead, you can tell him or her that you get irritated when he or she claims that you are flirting with someone during innocent conversions. This tactic is direct, but it does not impugn on the character of your lover.

As they address a problem, married people should not make generalizations about their partner, such as saying that he or she always or never does something. These words can make a person defensive. He or she may come up with several examples showing why the statements of his or her partner are false. To resolve an issue, married people should try to create a discussion about how their spouse can become more helpful or attentive.

You can have a constructive discussion if you stick to one issue at a time. When people are unhappy, it is usual for them to drag a number of topics into the same discussion. This is not the right way to solve an issue. If you raise several complaints at the same time, you may not get any one of them solved fully.

If your spouse criticizes you, you should not object to the complaints he or she makes. You cannot solve problems if you are defensive. It is better to listen to your spouse and consider what he or she is saying.

Getting the assistance of a coupes counselor is another good way to solve conflicts in your relationship. You can inform the counselor about the issues you are facing and then discuss them with him or her. When undergoing counseling, you can express your emotions and desires in an environment, which is safe and respectful. Counseling can also heal the hurtful feelings brought about by infidelity, bereavement and neglect. Your counselor will assist you to build a relationship, which is more meaningful and intimate.




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